Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
