I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just had sex on a roof
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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