5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
