Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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