Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
