Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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