wakey wakey hands off snakey
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
