My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
