suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
