He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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