is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
high people should be assigned attendants
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Dicks are not precious.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
