So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
pray to the hookup gods
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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