No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
