Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
