i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
