walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just want to make out with him forever
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
