omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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