She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
