"it" just moved
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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