the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
