yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
