that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
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i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
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She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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