Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
