Duck Duck Cougar?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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