I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
