We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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