giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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