Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
