before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Alive.
So much puke
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
