When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
