1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i think my tv is drunk
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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