and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
