thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
