I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
