her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
