You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
