so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we made out on top of his cat.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize