your thong is hanging out like whoa
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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