Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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