There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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