I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
