This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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