he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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