My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
