I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
