Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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