Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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