im gay
i know
yea but for you.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
