I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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