Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
