Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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