Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize