i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
