We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
