I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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