Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
