Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.

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  (214): She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister. http://tfl.nu/9ks8
  Replies (37) Good night (8214) Bad night (623)
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  (607): View more from New York

  people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.

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  (607): people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome. http://tfl.nu/mqe3
  Replies (32) Good night (3568) Bad night (981)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China

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  (617): Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China http://tfl.nu/t41x
  Replies (19) Good night (4592) Bad night (1027)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame

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  (410): i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame http://tfl.nu/8cpc
  Replies (12) Good night (3428) Bad night (1276)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous

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  (519): Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous http://tfl.nu/zfcd
  Replies (10) Good night (4898) Bad night (872)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.

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  (484): I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits. http://tfl.nu/dr6q
  Replies (20) Good night (3554) Bad night (899)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good

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  (+44): just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good http://tfl.nu/71ko
  Replies (11) Good night (841) Bad night (4127)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.

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  (443): theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down. http://tfl.nu/4061
  Replies (5) Good night (2703) Bad night (927)
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  (858): View more from California

  I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake

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  (858): I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake http://tfl.nu/hoqc
  Replies (9) Good night (1020) Bad night (670)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance

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  (774): omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore.... (774): HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance http://tfl.nu/0qjd
  Replies (4) Good night (1787) Bad night (582)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD

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  (505): I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD http://tfl.nu/div0
  Replies (13) Good night (1386) Bad night (530)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now

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  (303): Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now http://tfl.nu/ssv3
  Replies (5) Good night (517) Bad night (863)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.

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  (304): omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected. http://tfl.nu/xm5d
  Replies (4) Good night (355) Bad night (741)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.

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  (902): Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom. http://tfl.nu/6cke
  Replies (9) Good night (1094) Bad night (288)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.

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  (970): Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background. http://tfl.nu/hf4r
  Replies (1) Good night (169) Bad night (376)

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