then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.