my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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