I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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